You are frustrated. I get it.
The past year, the boys I have gone after, whether I just wanted them to become a fuck buddy or because I saw the potential we could achieve, has been disappointment after disappointment.
Actually, it’s always been this way. Growing up as an Asian-American woman, the standard of beauty that was drilled into my mind was a tall, blonde, white woman.
I always used to question myself, “I guess I’m not pretty enough.” It never helped my insecurity that these boys never wanted to take a photo with me and post it on social media and claim me as theirs. It made me feel ashamed of myself. I’m good enough to fuck, but not to be seen in public with?
I have class, intelligence, and common sense. These are not attributes that boys value. To add more insult to my once fragile ego, they always go after the dumb and naive.
Luckily, I have amazing and supportive friends who have always reminded me of my worth. And I have met some men who have reinforced that value.
Now, I have finally become the woman I should have become years ago, but an emotionally destructive mother and heartbreaks/disappointments stunted me, and it’s taken me a long time to get over all the bullshit.
I am still progressing; we are supposed to evolve as adults, but now, I’m even more intimidating because I am a woman who knows her worth and knows exactly what she wants. Little beta boys cannot handle a woman of my caliber.
And yes, it’s still frustrating, seeing these boys pick the young, white, dumb, blonde girls over me. Not to say that I don’t like to have fun with these girls, too, I do, but they’re choices are platitudinous.
You will still get discouraged when they pick a lesser woman than you, especially when you meet someone you have a connection with, but they have not dealt with their own insecurities and they still want the young and dumb to placate to their fragile egos.
But one day, you will be introduced to a REAL man, like an Ivy League educated, businessman who has a private bathroom in his office that you cannot wait to get on your knees for. (Oops, sorry, I’m daydreaming now.) But this real man will not be intimidated by your strength, beauty, and intelligence. Actually, he will be impressed by those qualities that others have cowed from. He will remind you that you are gorgeous and he will be turned on by your superiority and uniqueness.
So just be patient. He is out there. You will get the man that you deserve. Do not forget that. Keep your eyes on your goal.
And maybe, if you’re lucky, he will even offer to a pay a young, white, dumb, blonde girl to be your submissive bitch. 😈